Oh Mourn the Death of My Patience!

Don't worry, it eventually came back to life! I have to admit, I wasn't so sure I would ever see it again. The past five days have been very challenging for everyone here at the Golter-Kaul residence. The truth is, I think they have been hardest on Livi, but she's not verbal yet, so I guess it's my job to tell you all about all of our recent hardships. Olivia has spent the last several days with a high fever, a rash all over her body, an infection in both ears, and a yeast infection on her bum. The poor girl has felt like dookie. Of course the worst of it had to happen over the weekend when if the only option for a doctor is at the ER, and I try to avoid those places unless it is absolutely necessary. All of you parents out there know how heart-breaking and trying it can be to attempt to comfort a sick child. Logically, I know every parent goes through it and many have to face far worse challenges, but when you are in the middle of it, it is hard not to think that this is the hardest thing any human being has ever had to endure. At least that is how I was feeling when things were at there worst Sunday night. After getting up with her about 5 times between 8:00 PM and 12:00 AM, and nothing I did seemed to sooth her, I decided to let her wail herself to sleep. This was very hard for me knowing that she felt awful and we don't usually let her cry for more than 15 or 20 minutes. I was a nervous wreck waiting out those 45 minutes of her crying.I teetered between feeling like it was the best thing to do because she needed her sleep and feeling like I was the worst parent on the planet. She slept for a couple of hours, which was good, but the night definitely didn't get any easier. I won't go into the specifics because I'm sure you get the idea, but one aspect that I've found very challenging is that when Oli is frustrated or not feeling well she tries to hit me in the face. That night, whenever I tried to comfort her, she was either hysterically sobbing or winding up to see how hard she could nail me in the nose. In combination with lack of sleep and the sad death of my patience, it was hard not to feel like she despised me and would rather have the neighbor's stinky old trash can for a mother. Livi seems to be getting better. She slept well last night, but did wake up in a very foul mood. More hitting, more throwing her food across the room, more screaming and wailing. I can't wait to have my delightful, funny, and loving daughter back soon!