Independent O

Searching for independence seems to be Olivia's main goal right now. She seeks out opportunities to do things on her own. She has been experimenting with eating with a spoon. I say experimenting because often the food either ends up dripping down the wall or anywhere on her face except for in her mouth. I know that this will make feeding her easier in the long run, but for now it's kind of messy. She has also finally taken an interest in giving herself a bottle. I know, I know, for those of you with young children you are thinking, "She still takes a bottle?" And, yes, she does. I could give you a very long explanation for why, but I will spare you the boredom. When we go for walks she would much prefer to push the stroller herself rather than ride in it. This works fine unless we are trying to get somewhere in under an hour. This reminds me of something else that surprises me about Olivia. She loves to go for walks; the kind where she gets to do the walking. I had no idea that a 14 month old could walk as far as she does, especially with those little, short legs. Although Olivia is working on finding independence, she also seems to be experiencing some separation anxiety. I guess I kind of hoped that we were going to skip that phase. Until recently when anyone came to watch her she would just wave to me as I walked out the door. Unfortunately, the past couple of days I can't seem to get out the door without her grabbing on to my legs and screaming like I'm going to abandon her in a desert without food or water for 40 days. I guess I'm glad to know that she likes me (at least I hope that's what it means), but it does make departures more stressful. This is completely unrelated to the topic thus far, but I keep forgetting to mention that Livi is going to be a big sister! I'm 3 months pregnant and the little person is due for arrival April 28th. I just had an ultrasound on Monday, and it was fun to see how much he or she looks like a little person. I could see both sides of its brain, as well as little hands and feet. At one point it was moving its jaw up and down, which for me was heart melting. The baby seemed full of energy and healthy. This time we are planning to find out the gender ahead of time, but I think we have to wait at least another month before that can happen. There are times that Yale and I both feel like we are crazy to have another child so soon, but I think in the long run we (and the kids) will appreciate that they are close in age. Hopefully, being close in age will encourage them be closer emotionally as well.

Oh Mourn the Death of My Patience!

Don't worry, it eventually came back to life! I have to admit, I wasn't so sure I would ever see it again. The past five days have been very challenging for everyone here at the Golter-Kaul residence. The truth is, I think they have been hardest on Livi, but she's not verbal yet, so I guess it's my job to tell you all about all of our recent hardships. Olivia has spent the last several days with a high fever, a rash all over her body, an infection in both ears, and a yeast infection on her bum. The poor girl has felt like dookie. Of course the worst of it had to happen over the weekend when if the only option for a doctor is at the ER, and I try to avoid those places unless it is absolutely necessary. All of you parents out there know how heart-breaking and trying it can be to attempt to comfort a sick child. Logically, I know every parent goes through it and many have to face far worse challenges, but when you are in the middle of it, it is hard not to think that this is the hardest thing any human being has ever had to endure. At least that is how I was feeling when things were at there worst Sunday night. After getting up with her about 5 times between 8:00 PM and 12:00 AM, and nothing I did seemed to sooth her, I decided to let her wail herself to sleep. This was very hard for me knowing that she felt awful and we don't usually let her cry for more than 15 or 20 minutes. I was a nervous wreck waiting out those 45 minutes of her crying.I teetered between feeling like it was the best thing to do because she needed her sleep and feeling like I was the worst parent on the planet. She slept for a couple of hours, which was good, but the night definitely didn't get any easier. I won't go into the specifics because I'm sure you get the idea, but one aspect that I've found very challenging is that when Oli is frustrated or not feeling well she tries to hit me in the face. That night, whenever I tried to comfort her, she was either hysterically sobbing or winding up to see how hard she could nail me in the nose. In combination with lack of sleep and the sad death of my patience, it was hard not to feel like she despised me and would rather have the neighbor's stinky old trash can for a mother. Livi seems to be getting better. She slept well last night, but did wake up in a very foul mood. More hitting, more throwing her food across the room, more screaming and wailing. I can't wait to have my delightful, funny, and loving daughter back soon!