The Nighmare of Naps

Olivia's personality continues to become more evident these days. Part of her expressing herself involves her becoming more willful and determined. This has its advantages and disadvantages. She has become quite obstinate about going to sleep. Even when I know she is absolutely exhausted, she fights naps. for example, she is so tired that she is only happy if I am holding her, and even then she is just sort of happy, crawling all over me, whimpering. This trying stage involves her screaming as soon as I start to cradle her and walk toward the rocking chair. You would think that I had just intentionally started her favorite security blankie/stuffed animal on fire. She moves in and out of the screaming while she is trying her hardest to both wriggle free from my arms and make damn sure that I don't put her down. Once she realizes I moving toward her crib, she starts really screaming and grabbing on to my clothes like we're stuck in a raging flood together and she doesn't want to lose me. Even once I get her in her crib without her pulling me in with her, she continues the sobbing mixed with "I'm-just-about-to-die" screeches until she finally exhausts herself and she conks out mid-yell. I feel bad for her, but I also feel bad for myself. It is very trying.